A Tragic Event- Auschwitz

I keep finding myself sitting down to write this post, and then feeling at a loss for words, and finding something else to do instead. It has been a cycle for the past few days. I just am having a hard time coming up with words that can begin to capture what I experienced there. I have come to the realization that I wont. Once I chose to study abroad in Prague, I always knew that part of the trip was a visit to Auschwitz, which was a concentration camp for Jews. Auschwitz was the final resting place for over 3 million people. It was the one thing that I was not excited about on the trip. It is not that I wanted to be naive or distant from what happened there. I just knew that standing in that place would be a horrible feeling. And it was. We woke up early Sunday and had breakfast in the hotel. We then boarded the buses and drove for about an hour south of where we were staying in Krakow Poland. People on the bus seemed to be in a good mood. No one really knew what to expect. As we pulled into the parking lot, an AIFS employee who came along for the trip stood up on the bus and tried to prepare us for what was to come. He said that it is not easy to walk around the camp, and that naturally we are going to feel upset. He said that is was fine if we needed to come back to the bus early, because it is possible that some people would not be able to handle being there for long. We then unloaded off the bus and walked in. We entered, just as the Jews did, under a large metal entryway that read "Work will liberate you." The entire place looked different than any picture I have ever seen. To walk along the paths made my stomach physically hurt. I had images flying through my mind of innocent people, lost and confused, being ordered around. Auschwitz is divided into two camps, I and II. We were currently at I where many of the buildings had been turned into museums. They walked us down to the first building, spoke for a little while, and then we were free to explore on our own. I felt as though this was something I needed to do by myself, so I went in building 11. Inside I immediately noticed that along the walls hung pictures of men. Their picture was taken in three different poses, the first facing forward, the second turned to the side, and the third looking up to the corner. It looked much like a mug shot. At the bottom of the pictures was their name, age, and occupation. All of them were people, innocent people. Many of them were early twenties and students. At the end of the hallway it was posted that all of these men had been killed. After I left this building, I walked across to building number 27. Inside was exhibits set up that brought the startling reality of how many people were killed. There was a huge glass box in the middle of the room and it was filled with eye glasses. I have never seen so many glasses in my life. When the Jews were brought in, they were intensely questioned and if they had any defects (bad eye-sight) they were almost always sent directly to the gas chambers. In the next room was a similar exhibit filled with hair brushes and combs. Those who made it past the questioning and were approved to live were stripped of all of their personal belongings. There must have been millions of combs in this one room. It was unbelievable. There was similar exhibits throughout this building, but I found myself overwhelmed so I ventured out. It was sickening to be walking around and stumble across a platform that was used for hangings. It was just sitting there up against the sidewalk. My heart hurt at the sight of this. The other buildings that I went into were filled with horrific pictures, videos, original outfits that they were forced to wear, as well as personal belongings. After a while, I could not go into any more of the buildings. I walked past a black platform where the Nazi's would perform roll call from everyday. It said on the sign that during roll call, it was common for the men to collapse because they were so famished. Often when this happened, they were immediately shot due to disrespect during a formal encounter. Next, without fully knowing what I was walking into, I found myself standing inside a crematorium. There were long brick boxes lined throughout the room. Each station was covered with candles, flowers, and ribbons. Quickly noticing how much I did not want to stand there, I quickly exited. The last building I went into was dedicated to the children of Auschwitz. This was incredibly difficult to experience. There was not a lot of pictures of the children simple for the fact that when most women and children arrived, they were almost always immediately sent to death because they could not offer the camp anything because they were to weak to work. The one thing that I read and will never forget is that at night no one could sleep because the kids that did make it were so famished and malnurished, their skin literally rested on top of bone so when they would move or shiver, it would tear their skin as it moved across the bone and they would lay and scream the whole night. Reading that made me feel sick, as I'm sure it does to you too. I walked along the outside of the camp and just hearing my feet along the gravel was disheartening. The air was clean, but it felt heavy. I realized I had enough and headed for the bus. We drove a short distance and arrived at Auschwitz II. This is the camp that most people see photographed.  The camp was in its original position, which made it even harder to handle. We walked upon a long gravel road and stopped at the gas chamber. It was constructed out of brick, but since there has been no restoration, it was badly damaged. Again, it was surrounded by candles and such. It was so hard to look at. We then entered the barracks where most of the Jews lived. There was wood bunk beds where they slept four to a bed. The room was dark, cold, and felt evil. We listened to our guide talk about the lives of the Jews there. It was almost unbearable to listen to such horrific facts and stand where this tragedy took place. The same AIFS employee from before announced that he could feel as though we had all had enough. He said that he could see a change in all of us, but they he felt it was a good idea if we left. I completely agreed. It makes me feel weak that I had such a hard time simply walking there, in comparison to all that the Jews endured there. When we got back on the bus, there was a different dynamic to everyone. It was not a typical bus ride filled with loud college students. It was a bus ride filled with people who had just received a small taste of the tragic event that had occurred not too long ago. We were all changed. I still feel as though I did not really encapsulate what I felt, but I don't think I can. Something that grievous has no words. This was a experience I will never forget. It is something that should have never happened, and has no excuses. My heart breaks for those families who are still grieving their loses today. May we always remember the innocent people who were stripped of their lives.